Back in the day, I'd read Malory and Chaucer and Roth and they'd make me think, hard, and I'd write uni essays on them which would keep me up all night.
Now, I read The Caterpillar One and The Zoo One and The Rabbit One and they keep me up all night because of their tough intellectual rigour. OK, no, their audience of one keeps me up at night - oh wait, is he too lying in his cot thinking these thoughts about annoying bedtime books?
1. Guess How Much I Love You
This is a lovely book. With a lovely sentiment. Which I'd love to love to read.
But there's only so many times I can read 'little nutbrown hare' and 'big nutbrown hare' without sounding like I've just downed a chilled bottle of chardonnay and am tripping over my words like Lego bricks in the hall.
2. The Runaway Bunny
Jeez, isn't the little bunny even allowed a gap year?
3. The Rainbow Fish
Aka, if you want to make friends, just buy their love with a whole lot of presents.
Or you could try being nice, etc...
4. The Very Hungry Caterpillar.
Just joking I heart this one. But I do wonder... where does he find all that nice freely-available fruit and cake? Is he basically slithering around Tesco? Should I be looking for caterpillar holes in my cake as well as my apples purchased from Tesco? Is he the reason for ALL the holes in my Swiss cheese? (Side note: someone has written a 'plot summary' for this book. F'real.)
5. Dear Zoo
I'm not one for major political correctness.. But all the animals who are just 'sent back' to the zoo... How do adopted kid-readers feel? How is this a good moral message for children who want a pet? Or am I over-thinking this?