Which holiday-packing parent are you?

The Facebook parenting group posts start around May. "I'm planning my August holiday packing-list (first time abroad with the babe) and I'm on my fourth sheet of A4. Has anyone ever travelled easyJet and taken over the plane's entire luggage hold with their kit? Is that doable?" 

Or something like that.

Because parenting out of our comfort zone (basically the four walls of your home, in the early days) can be scary. Those adventurous sorts who use a year's maternity leave to visit 792 countries of the world, with only one rucksack between the three of them: HOW? 

So I thought I'd put together a tongue-in-cheek guide to the simplest way to pack for a holiday. Just match your personality to your trip, and start that pile of gear..

You're terrified.

Scarlet has just settled into Gina Ford's wake-sleep-feed regime and she's only slept through 17 nights in the last 3.2 weeks. WHAT IF THE HOLIDAY RUINS ALL YOUR HARD WORK? You're only going because Rupert basically insisted on it and said you've spoken about nothing but Scarlet since the day you found out you were pregnant. But you're not scrimping on necessities. So you've bought a special protective carrier for your Silver Cross Kensington (it had to be handmade and cost more than the accommodation budget, but it's worth it because it's the only buggy Scarlet has ever been in). 
You've ordered half of Boots' baby department and it's being shipped to your hotel (a month early, but you can't be too careful and Fred on reception promised, on your fifth call, to look after the shipment like it was his mother.) 

You're having a second child...

... and you're off for a second baby-moon, and you've got this packing thing sorted. Extra weight is the enemy. Travel system? Nah - you need something that folds small enough to take on board: no more toddler-wrangling from the plane to the baggage hall. You've gone for an all-black City Mini Tour because it fits on-board and is robust enough to still be good for the rice cake battering that Second Kiddo will give it too. Also packed: three pairs of toddler shorts, three t-shirts (dark colours: white is NOT ALLOWED), a lot of Travel Wash and a huge maternity swimsuit. This may not be an Insta-friendly snap-happy break, but you're going to enjoy at least 30 minutes relaxing on a sunbed in seven days if it kills you.

You're rich...

and heading off to a shared six-bedroom villa in Tuscany for a few weeks. You've booked BA for the baggage allowance, your babe's summer wardrobe has all been bought from Alex & Alexa, (day-by-day outfits planned and photographed), you've bought a new travel buggy - it's not small, but the Silver Cross Aston Martin Surf 2 (£3000) will look fab in photos and the nanny will deal with getting it on and off the plane scratch-free anyway.

          

You're adventurous...

And having a kid Hasn't Changed Anything. The three of you are off on a backpacking trip around Mongolia, and it's going to be JUST like your honeymoon in Cambodia. No buggy, but you've got your ErgoBaby sling, a mosquito net, four reusable nappies (you'll wash them lots. It'll be FINE.) and a tiny sarong that'll look gorgeous on Horace (hopefully, because it's one of only two outfits he has. The other is another sarong.) You've packed baby sunscreen, but it was a big bottle and meant no room room for your own swimming gear, so you'll have to opt for skinny dipping.