run out of womb

... learning how to be a mum from scratch

Thursday 2 July 2015

What I WISH I'd known - newborn days

This is part two of the collective wisdom of mamas - covering those early days of your baby's life - and your possibly painful body..

Early postpartum days: mamas wish they'd known...

That being utterly overwhelmed and terrified is completely normal when you come home from hospital!

I wish I'd known that it's normal to bleed for months after birth (not just weeks) and the more you exert yourself every day, the more/longer you'll bleed

That it is extremely painful and basically impossible to go to the toilet (poo) few days after giving birth, when your digestive system starts to work normally again. Firstly because you scared that your sutures will rip and everything will fall out when you push. Glicerine suppositories are the answer.

Try to get dressed and even put a little make up on if you feel like it - this made me feel more "normal" and like myself in the early days. I know it's not exactly a priority but I felt much more ready for whatever was thrown at me because I felt a bit more confident once I had some proper clothes on, had a little make up on and my hair was straight...!

I wish I'd known that once you have given birth you will still look 6 months pregnant.. Kate Middleton excepted..

The best ever advice I got was: a bad day is precisely that, a bad day! No two days are the same. The day after a bad day will be so much better!

Accept help! If it's cooking or looking after baby whilst you shower!

Life will never be the same again.....mostly for the best though!  Also, there will be extremely tough days but the good days make all those bad days seem worth it. Being a parent is the hardest job you'll ever do but it is also the most rewarding job you'll ever do which no amount of money can buy!!x

You are not a failure if not everything you intended to do that day didn't get done! It's pressure you put on yourself. Keep expectations realistic so you feel good about yourself! Ask family for help not everyone knows what it is that you need but lots iwant to feel useful in those first few weeks.

It's ok as long as you know the baby is safe to go to the toilet and ignore the crying for 2 minutes. And to shower / brush your teeth/ hair. This does not make you a neglectful mother! But u won't have hrs to do this so get cracking.

Mothers' guilt is a thing you will juggle with the rest of your your child has only one set of parents and you will try your best and still feel guilty for not doing what x mum does. 

Parenting is not a competition if someone wants to b better than you simply explain that you are not in the race puts ppl the snooty buggers right off

You don't need to be anywhere near as prepared as you think! Half the stuff I bought never got used! Just go with the flow and get ready for a whirlwind of love!!! Good luck.

It's the best thing I ever done, those first few weeks are so amazing - enjoy every second. That's why I went onto have four kids and more if I could, but my body said no. Feel blessed - it's the the best gift in the world.

How much fun it is to have a baby! Stressful, tiring, difficult etc etc too of course but I heard so much negative stuff when I was pregnant from people with kids that I was really surprised that my life didn't suddenly end when my daughter arrived.

Health visitors are rubbish and blame everything on colic. Join groups like Facebook's Babies, Babies, Babies and Mumsnet who can give you real insight into issues like reflux, tongue tie and allergies which can cause a lot more problems then trapped wind!

It does get better and easier each day and before you know it they are 18 months old and you wonder why you ever thought a newborn was hard work!

Newborn days

Enjoy every cuddle, people always say 'get them in a routine, don't form bad habits' blah blah blah. I loved those newborns cuddles and snoozes on my shoulder. Also, everyday gets better and better ! (Especially once you start getting sleep again, I didn't realise how tough the lack of sleep would be but you deal with it at the time).

That it takes about six months for most babies to start sleeping well and for some sort of normally to resume. You will have time again for yourself, the haze of all hands on deck does sort itself out 

If in doubt a newborn is always hungry! And don't be embarrassed to ask people for help or advice.

If your child is not developing as fast as others, don't panic but stay alert. And if they do end up having additional needs you are not alone. There are excellent support groups available for every eventuality.

Me and my husband swear by this phrase for the first 6 months: 'what is said at 3 o clock in the morning stays at 3 o clock in the morning!'

Everything is a 'phase'!


Pre-baby I think I said "I'd never co sleep"... Post baby I said "whatever gets me the most sleep I'm happy to co sleep" .. 21 months later I'm still co sleeping 

Be noisy, vacuum next to them whilst sleeping, don't whisper and don't tip-toe! Try not to create a sleep atmosphere that is unachievable, say... if the power is out, or you're on holiday. Keep it simple!

I wish I'd known that babies might cry because they are tired. I thought they just fall asleep on their own!


1 comment

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